Oogah Boogah!

Those have been proven to be among the very first words our ancient cavemen ancestors spoke, and they’re just as relevant today. And you know…it’s always good to put some words down for the historical record. Someday, our generation will be scrutinized by the historians (God help us all), who will be looking for clues to see how we ticked. Seeing as I’m sure they’ll want to include the Caveman Good blog as a…barometer (oooh, big word!) for mankind’s progress, well…..ramblings just seem like a good idea.

I like toast. I think it’s one of nature’s most perfect foods. Someday I hope to grow my own toast garden.

I like the sun. Man, it’s almost like….without the sun, life would be really dark. And it might not be very lively either, because it would be so dark that it’d be almost impossible to find the toaster. I mean, without toast, what’s the point?

I like water. Drinking it, showering in it, swimming in it. Watching sprinklers on the grass. Being in the car wash as the water sweeps over you (while you’re in your, you know, car. If you’re in a car wash but not in a car, it’s just traumatic).

I like deposits into my checking account.

I like the color blue. So glad that the sky isn’t lime green or something. Blue rocks!

I like blue rocks.

I like green lights. I like flowing traffic. I like when there’s no one driving in front of me, and when I only have to make right turns. Did you know that it takes longer to turn left? I’ve committed to only making right turns from now on. I might go in a lot of circles and maybe I won’t always get where I need to go, but at least I’ll not get there faster!

I like being able to ramble from my cave, thanks to this world-wide web thingy. Until next time…

I’ll never forget where I was the moment I heard about…..gluten.

Okay not true….I have no idea where I was, nor do I even remember the moment, but I DO remember some afterthoughts (after I…thought of them).

How is it that, as advanced as we are as a society, somehow the whole concept of gluten being bad for us wasn’t “discovered” until recently? I don’t like to throw around the c-word very often, but if I didn’t know better, I’d think there was a massive Gluten Conspiracy on our hands. It never ceases to amuse me when I’m in the grocery store and see, let’s say…sweetened condensed milk (or some damn thing) that says “Now Gluten-Free!” Really? Never mind the fact that the ingredients that ARE in there are enough to slowly kill even a Tyrannosaurus Rex over time. Sure, I could go on and on here about how a gluten-rich diet was the real reason dinosaurs became extinct, but I’ll save that for another day.

Now, I don’t pretend to have a clue when it comes to the mysteries of the human body, and God knows I can’t take credit for a single iota of “advances” or discoveries that have led to the plethora of information we have today. So if a bunch of so-called experts came out and said that cigarette smoking is actually beneficial to our health when done in moderation, I maaay hafta jump in my car and buy a pallet of smokes. I mean…they’re the experts, right?

After growing up drinking diet pepsi (which was as much of a staple in our house as milk), it was interesting to later hear about the horrible effects of soda on the body. On a related note, I remember hearing some time ago that you should NEVER put plastic wrap over foods in the microwave, because it somehow emits carcinogenic thingies into our food as a result of being in the oh-so-safe microwave. Hahaha. This comes on the heels of 30-plus years of covering food in the microwave with plastic wrap? Speaking of microwaves…..if the experts told us conclusively that microwave use has been known to cause cancer due to extra high levels of dangerous microwavey stuff (which of course is a theory), what would we do? How would we adjust to the idea of suddenly not using a microwave oven? Perish the thought! Microwave ovens have become so ingrained in our daily life that it would be reaaaal easy to conclude that the “experts” aren’t so expert after all.

So what’s one to do? Are the experts really experts? Who ARE these people? Hey, I definitely appreciate people who do the leg work for me, butchyaknow….us cavemen don’t have time for all of this misinformation; we’re too busy hunting and making the kill. Speaking of which, I gotta run now and take down this T-Rex. I can only hope he hasn’t been eating gluten; the second-hand consumption may (or may not) be my demise.