I recently heard of a celebrity’s passing and was shocked, not so much that he died but because for some reason I thought he had passed several years ago. Not sure how I got it wrong, but I hadn’t heard any mention of him this whole time until the news broke of his “actual” death. Several media outlets described it the same way: “he died unexpectedly.”

It’s always struck me as an odd term. I get it – when someone dies it’s usually a surprise at the time unless they were terminally ill. Even so, in such cases it’s never said that they passed “expectedly.”

It’s true though – we’re all expected to die.

As the iconic soap opera line goes….”Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives” (no idea which soap that came from). I’ve always appreciated the analogy, but one thing I hadn’t thought about until recently is how freakishly similar it is in comparison with the time-speed-age factor. Why is it that time seems to go faster the older we get? Yup – when the sand in the top of an hourglass starts running out, it picks up speed. Duuude!

If we could see the hourglass of our lives and knew how many days we had left, how would that affect how we spend our time? Would we worry less about comforts and material things (gasp) and concentrate more on our relationships? Would we be more inclined to mend fences with people we had a falling out with? Would we want to say our “I love you’s” more frequently to those that we love and appreciate?

Was that a rhetorical question?

If you’ve never read the book Tuesdays With Morrie, based on the true story of a dying man – just do it. An instant classic, I had been meaning to read it and saw it on my parent’s coffee table many years ago. It was my Dad’s, and when mentioning how I’d been wanting to read it, he said how great it was and offered to let me borrow it.

Dad passed about a year later.

I still have his book.

However much sand we have left…..may we use it wisely.

It’s always a special time during the week between Christmas and New Year’s and many people still give a holiday-esque greeting. Christmas was 3 days ago and some are still saying ‘Merry Christmas’, while others are already saying Happy New Year even though NYE is a few days away. Of course, there’s the ever popular “Happy Holidays” which seems to fit particularly well right now.

Regardless of what is (or isn’t) said, it can feel like a magical time. A lot of people are on vacation, and for those that are back to the grind, the workload might be lighter this time of year depending on one’s occupation. As a society that puts so much emphasis on the holidays, we tend to milk every last drop out of ’em that we can.

It may sound blasphemous but I’ve come to enjoy the time between Christmas and New Year’s most of all. We’ve survived the shopping, the crowds and the family gatherings. We have no idea what the new year will bring, but aren’t in a hurry to think too far ahead either. It’s still the holidays after all – we can just breathe and find our happy place.

Being in reality purgatory has its advantages…

I write, therefore I must have something to say. Ok not necessarily but let’s just get through this together.

Since my readership is now in the tens of thousands (give or take….you know….tens of thousands) I’ve decided to give in to global demand and try to get some Cavemanny words down on more of a semi-irregular basis. Let’s face it, we need each other. Don’t ask how, just go with it – it’s better this way.

Christmas 2021 is officially in the books and as I sit here getting caffeinated on a Monday morning, it’s a good time to reflect on the last year. It’s been a challenging one in many respects, but who among us can’t say the same? Surely for some, it was one of the best years of their life. If you fall into this category then congrats and I hope 2022 is even better for you. But if you’re like most of us, you’d probably say that 2021 was a mixed bag.

Gotta love those bags that are mixed. Isn’t that the human experience? We can feel like we have it all together on a Monday, and by Thursday we don’t have a clue. We make huge progress in some areas yet have setbacks in others. We buckle up for the ride and “feel the need…for speed”, then see a speed bump straight ahead and hafta slam on the brakes. If there’s one thing about life, it’s gloriously unpredictable.

I guess I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, I’d much rather see progress on all fronts with nothing but green lights and blue skies all the time, but apparently that’s not the world we live in. As I look back on 2021, I see a lot of layers. There was pain. There were joys. A lot of good came into my life, and while not everything worked out the way I wanted, it was still far better than 20-freaking-20. The last couple of years may have left me a little jaded when thinking about a NEW New Year coming up, but even so….

2022? Let’s DANCE.

Life man. It zooms by us at a dizzying pace and picks up speed the older we get. Amidst the backdrop of a global pandemic, rising tensions between multiple countries, crazy inflation and an ever-decreasing feeling of unity in these “United” States, we live in an age of constant uncertainty. It’s in times like these that being able to find our center becomes more important than ever.

We’re all different of course but when it comes to feeling centered, I believe there are 3 universal needs we share that make the foundation:

LOVE

LAUGHTER

HOPE

(trademark on L.L.H. pending with merch available soon) (ok that’s not true but that’d be cool) (ok I’ll look into it)

Love – where would any of us be without it? Giving and receiving love has gotta be THE single best gift this life affords us. Whether it’s the kind found in a deep, committed relationship, the immense love we feel for our children, our parents (if we’re lucky enough to still have them), siblings or extended family and friends, the old familiar saying is true: “Love makes the world go ’round.” In a time where hate seems to be spreading like wildfire, having love in our hearts is a safe harbor we can turn to time and time again. Knowing there are people who love us, always want the best for us and would do anything for us is absolute gold. And one of the coolest things about love is the byproduct effect – the more we give of ourselves and actively love others, the easier it becomes to take our minds off our own calamities.

When it comes to feeling centered, Love is at the center of it all.

Laughter just so happens to be one of life’s greatest gifts too and it doesn’t cost a dime. When the daily headlines are anything but amusing, being able to find humor in the day-to-day madness is the bestest. It’s a highly underrated form of self-care really, and for my money there’s nothing like a good belly laugh (or even a slight chuckle) to help the mindset. Feeling down? Watch one of your favorite comedy shows or some stand-up. Get out for a drink with a funny friend. Even when we’re smack in the middle of a stressful workday, we can simply think of a funny joke or past hilarious experience to help us hit the reset button. Of course, laughing – in and of itself – won’t make our challenges go away, but it will sure help us be in a better place to take ’em on.

Hope. How important is it to have? It’s hard to quantify until the day comes when it’s gone. In fact, of the “Big 3” this last one might be the most important of all. There are people in life who have endured far more than you or I, yet persevered to overcome incredible odds. Take Nelson Mandela for example, a man who was wrongly imprisoned for a whopping 27 years. During that time it would’ve been easy for him to completely give up. He probably figured he’d die in prison, and even if he thought he might get out eventually, it would’ve been reaaal easy for him to be so bitter and want so much revenge that it could’ve killed him from the inside out. Not only did he not lose hope, he was eventually released after more than a quarter century and immediately started building bridges with people in order to inspire hope in them! Incredible. Amazeballs. And a thousand other adjectives too.

Whatever helps you to find your center, I’m convinced it’s more important than ever for us to dwell there on the daily. Yes, the world will still be insane. People will still be crazy and do horrific things. Plagues and economies might crumble us at any minute and for all we know, aliens and Bigfoot are planning a global takeover.

That’s okay. We aren’t completely powerless.

We can love, laugh, and hope our way through it all.

Ahhh, December – that special time of year when people seem nicer, cheerier and caught up in the holiday spirit. While it’s something that many look forward to, it can also be a depressing time for various reasons, the weather being one of them. Here in Northern California we don’t lay claim to very many extreme weather conditions; no hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, and oddly enough no Nor’easters. I suppose the argument could be made that one reason we don’t get Nor’easters is cuz we’re not actually in the Northeast but the fact remains that we don’t get ’em!

With California going on its 141st straight year of drought (sumthin’ like that) we’ve grown accustomed to having mild winters here in the northern part of the landscape. Our “indian summers” typically extend the summer weather much longer than most other states, and when hearing about major snowstorms elsewhere it’s easy to feel detached from what other American peeps hafta deal with. But we DO have to contend with what’s widely agreed to be the Mother of all extreme weather conditions. You guessed it – I’m talking about the dreaded….. graylight.

As of this writing we’re 5 days into December, and ever since its arrival we’ve been dealing with day after day after day after day after day (according to my right hand that makes 5 days) of GRAY. Ya know….when us NorCal cavemen look to the skies we’re used to seeing at least a coupla different colors. So far, December 2021 has taken both of the usual ones away and replaced ’em with just one other one. Not cool. I mean if ya wanna take away our blues and yellows, fine. Tis the season and all that. But since you’re taking away two colors, dontchya think you should replace ’em with two others? Where’s your sense of equity? And if you must leave us with only one, would it kill ya to give us one that’s a little more….oh Idk…..colorful? Green or orange or purply or sumthin’?

One can only assume that the sun is still out there somewhere and is still making its daily rounds, otherwise the graylight would be graydark, but even so…get it together December!

Grunt Grunt!